Your #1 Hope  

 

When your standards are low and your expectations are high and you count on people to support you, and you expect your life in general to go well, what do you do when you find yourself struggling alone, maybe even sinking, in a sea of life's greatest and sometimes most unimaginable challenges? 

I found myself in this situation for many years, all the while flailing around desperately trying to stay afloat in a situation where I was never going to survive let alone thrive. Occasionally there might have been a piece of driftwood that would float by to provide me with something to grab hold of for a time, but these moments were fleeting. The rest of the time I was in a state of emergency and panic, hoping beyond all hope that some great figurative ship would come along, see and save me…that is until all hope was lost. 

What do you do when that happens? 

It is during moments like this that some of us stop fighting and we sink. We let ourselves sink right down to the very depths that gravity pulls us to, which for me happened to be far…think “Mariana's Trench” far. What was down there you ask? Nothing but pitch blackness, wavy silhouettes of terrifying creatures drifting in the dark, and the sound of my own voice crying ever so faintly for a life raft. Within so much silent despair and pressure I was able to make out that this was a child with fears and traumas so deep that I was no longer able to ignore her. This was me, my younger me, waiting for a savior, and with no one to help, I alone had to be the one to courageously step into the gap between my adult and child self to do some serious work, which involved mostly listening. It is there that I made some serious pledges and promises. It is there that perhaps for the first time, I began to love and care for myself like no other had been able to. 

When people say that they found themselves, this is no ordinary or straightforward task. This requires digging thru layer after layer of mostly artificially programmed social development to get to the truth of who you are, what you “really” honestly stand for, how you think, feel, and operate. You get clear, very clear, about why your life is not working or aligned with those critical things that you have always stood for, and maybe for the first time, YOU become the hope that you've always been searching for. 

When this happened and I could be there for myself the way I always wanted others to be there for me, some amazing things happened. All the garbage aspects of my life that I tried to see, thru rose colored glasses, really began to stink and I was able to throw out a whole lot of junk that was not serving me. This included people, situations, places, and some physical mementos that I had kept around for far too long! The relief from this process was unimaginable! Suddenly I got lighter and was able to float up effortlessly out of that trench and stay afloat, breathing in endless blue sky and unpolluted air that fed my soul and made me stronger. People who could support me started showing up out of nowhere and stood by my side, as though they were always there, just buried from view. Some of them were tests to make sure I was aligned properly. The failed ones quickly lost their superficial luster and charm. The right ones sparkled! The sparkly ones became beacon points of light. I don't overlook them any longer! They are pretty hard to miss with clean and clear lenses! 

If you have lost hope, take a moment to listen to the voice stirring within. This is the only voice that truly matters. This is YOUR voice. It is your savior.

Stop Shoulding and Just DO 

Trust me when I say that I've allowed this little word “should” to hold me back from more opportunities than I want to admit. In fact it literally ran my life into the ground five years ago when I was just at a point where I could see the open sky and my wings were poised to flap into a sea of unimaginable possibilities. 

But this was not to come. How could it when my life up to that point was built on one should after another: shoulds that were not mine, shoulds that kept me stuck in misery and suffering that I never wanted for myself, shoulds that were destroying my self worth, my sense of safety, my emotional and physical health to the point that I lost sight of who I was, what I was about, why I was here. 

It's hard to build on a dream when it is based in fantasy, not reality? Consequently, when we go along with the shoulds imposed on us we're bound to feel miserable especially in an era when self actualization is possible.Trying to set out on a creative life course, or just any life course, you have to know what YOU want. 

If you are confused about who you are, why you are here, what the purpose of life is, how to get from point A to B, and you can no longer make concrete decisions and are steadily sinking not flying, if your decisions are riddled with self-doubt, anxiety and procrastination, welcome to the academy of life! With a little self reflection and action you can start pointing your nose to the sky and dusting off those wings! 

Start asking yourself:

  • Are you getting bogged down by all the shoulds that are not your own?
  • Are you doing things and playing roles that are destructive to your spirit just to satisfy someone else's version of what your life should look like? 

Often the loudest voice directing you (or not doing any directing at all) is the one that is not your own. It is someone else's voice, someone else's version of who you should be. The first step is becoming aware of whose voice(s) it is. This is often not pretty, in fact it can lead to a great deal of initial despair, even anger or rage, but at some point you have to take responsibility for yourself and meet the lost self that is buried often under a lot of trash. Once that trash is sorted (what's mine, what's not mine) you can begin to clear enough space to connect and build on the truth of you. 

Many people get lost in this trash heap, but there is a way out, there is light. You keep sorting and digging until you can see a sliver of blue sky and then dig some more until you get out from under it! From there you begin by walking the true YOU road until you can run and eventually fly. 

It took me many years to figure out that something was desperately wrong, then many more to figure out the whys of it all and then the how to's of getting out and back on a road that felt aligned with my true self. Now when I long for advise and direction, I realize that ultimately it's my choice to do things in a way that works best for me. I create my reality and the solid path that weaves thru it! I get to choose the fastest or shortest route, whether to take a straight path, a winding path, or a path less traveled. This is where true liberty lies.

Living Your Best Life 

Welcome to the black-eyed SUZIE blog! 


black-eyed SUZIE music is dedicated to bringing quality music to the public that is inspiring and relatable across all sectors of society and all age groups. Our aim is to inspire growth, self-awareness, support, safety, introspection, love and light. We want our followers to relate to our message of hope and solidarity no matter what life throws at you! 
 

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Always with Love & Peace 
Christine for black-eyed SUZIE